Know me.....or no me. It's okay, either way.
I like to paint and write.
When I get an idea, I get excited. My soul sets on fire. For a brief moment...or two...fire. Fire.
Then, that second guessing rears its ugly head.
Will it be accepted? Will it offend? Will I be understood? Will I be judged?
Should I admire people who claim they don't care about what others think or should I question their sincerity?
After all, who among us, DOES NOT CARE what others think?
I care because I truly don't want to hurt feelings. I also loathe being misunderstood...having my motives and words twisted.
I prefer to create something that brings joy, not something that steers another's heart to regret or sadness.
Still, who will know the story if it's not told? Will it connect with one soul who desperately needs it, while turning away many other heads in the process?
That, I believe is enough. One soul.
Even if it is mine.
The years fly by and I've witnessed myself living
And, not living
Many years in a box, some moments outside that box
Something happens over time.
And the box disintegrates
Rainfall, sun, wind...year after year...it will do that to a box.
Then, one glorious, frightening day
There are no cardboard walls
And it's just me
Standing in the elements
Yet, no longer effected.
The rain washes, the wind dries and the sun warms.
And the burning desire to just be me
Me, with all the quirks...the wisdom...the love.
And, it no longer matters who is open to me.
So, I take those creative thoughts and paint what may be misunderstood.
What may not be perfect, technically.
And, I spout off the words in my soul that have been dormant
Even these words. These words you have just read.
To be judged by you.
But, the box is gone and there is that one who does not judge.
I may never know that one.
All I need to know is
The rain, wind and sun are my friends.